You know there is something not right when you’re surrounded by outstanding people.
Why can’t I be like them? Why do they always get what they want? Well, a lot of doubts have popped up in my mind.
I used to think that I want to be a person who is able to inspire other people, but it seems like my potential in doing so is getting lesser. Look at everyone around me. A lot of my friends have succeeded in passing to exchange program to the United States for 6 months or 2 months, some got internship abroad, some has managed to be in a position that they want to be. Life is full of surprise when you see that you are just a small creature that trying to challenge with a lot of people in order to be, at least, in the same status with them. But hey, that doesn’t mean that I don’t achieve anything yet. After I got selected to the PPMUN, which is my dream or can say it is one further step for me to complete what’s in my wish list, I start to value the potential of young people around me. The point is that there is always someone who is better than you. Despite the fact that you think how much you have gained success, how much you are working hard on what you actually want, how much you put your heart and soul in doing what you like, how much you think you get enough, there is still something or someone better pop up out of expectation. It, somehow, fires you to aggressively want to become better from time to time. This situation provides a lot of discouragement and self-reflection of you weakness but at the same time it is also a great motivation in developing ourselves.
I start to feel that when I was selected to the PPMUN and I know that the young people whom I will engage with them in a discuss or debate are the people who have a high potential in making the world a better place. I know that they have qualifications due to their experience and academic background that they are performing, and to be honest, I don’t think I am as good as them. It is not saying that I have no self-confidence, but I know my ability of absorbing the knowledge. Looking to the bright side, I can’t believe I got selected in one of those outstanding people. If comparing to some exchange program like UGRAD, SUSI or whatever exchange programs which providing you opportunities to learn something outside your country, and that you have to compete with hundreds or even thousands of people all around the city or even the country, PPMUN is just a small, say conference, that provide me opportunity in enhancing my knowledge and skill as a undergraduate student of International Relations. However, I do appreciate it a lot, and to me, it is a big deal. I am very happy to meet them, though it will put me in more pressure.To be able to do something that you wish you can do is glorious. It is unbelievable that after spending some time watching Youtube video about how diplomats are working in the past few months ago, and out of expectation, I was selected to do that one thing, it is just awesome. The problem is that, how much do I need to invest my time for this conference, how much do I need to prepare, how much do I need to research and analyse about the country I represent. Among the people in PPMUN, as my observation, they are the best and outstanding debaters and so full of leadership skills. This is a great motivation for me, as lately I feel demotivated and not really happy of what I am dealing with.
From time to time, I feel enthusiastic in learning about the complex of the world affairs, global issues and especially about the roles of states in conflict resolutions. Little did I know that when I understand about its process, those lessons or issues are getting extremely interesting to me. I wish I could know this earlier. When I am be able to understand this process, I tend to feel like reading a lot of documents, books, or just some articles that interest me. It bothers me not to read when there are a lot of things to learn about. And that is good because I can understand it even more. Some other time, I feel like the more I study, the more I feel stupid because there are a lot of things that I never know. Knowledge is enormous. Well, I don’t really know what is the right adjective should be used to define the word knowledge, but I know it is very broad that even you earn a PhD or even you grow old until the end of a lifetime, there is something that you still do not know about, and that you wish to know it.
Life is a mystery. Indeed, it remains a mystery. However, human strives to make their way to solve all the mystery and they bring the best of their living to discover something new. When I say this, I understand that the awards that people achieve are truly based on their efforts. Nothing is free in the world. The economic theory states it right Thus, I say it again that the up-and-down of life can be sure to be bitter or sweet but the achievement from time to time makes one understand that life is not just useless as some people think it is.
it's Adventure Time! 